thought

The Ultimate Outsider…

We live in a world where social interaction is a vital process in survival. So, it is extremely crucial for us to receive an adequate amount of attention from other human beings. It is also very important to fill the void of loneliness in our life by developing a small to large group of associates that share the same interests or ideas as us. Now, socialization is all fine and dandy when you find the right group of friends, but what if you NEVER feel like you belong anywhere?!?

This is how I am feeling at the moment.. No matter what I do or who I meet, I feel like I do not belong. I also feel that I really cannot put myself in a correct subculture to describe my interests and things that I like. People can immediately distinct themselves as a nerd, fangirl or even a skater. Yet, my interests are ALL OVER THE PLACE that I really cannot put a label on myself.  I know that it is weird and probably really  stupid to stress over, but it can be rather sad when you believe that you will never find people you can identify with! My first encounter with this realization was when my roommate stated that she was a geek and she loved being that way! I started to think that I do like similar entertainment choices as her, but I don’t think that people who identify as “geeks” would accept me into their subculture because of other interests that I like. I started to think about where I may belong and, NOPE, NADA, NOTHING came to mind!! Then, I started to feel very subconscious and fearful that I may not fit in anywhere or with anybody!

Does anyone else feel like this? It is a peculiar type of loneliness that I have struggled with all of my life! The feeling that no matter how many people you meet or friends you make, you will ALWAYS feel like you don’t belong. Like the ultimate outsider.

I have come to terms that I am a bit different from people I regularly meet and that’s okay! I am learning everyday that feeling this way actually helps me to meet people with different interests and learn new, exciting things. If you suffer from this strange cognition as I do, don’t fret! We will get through this together!

P.S.: Please comment or email your stories if you ever felt this way! I would love to hear them and know that I am not alone in the world 🙂

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